Where I Been June 28, 2007

I’ve been quiet here I see.  If that happens then one of two things: My life is so boring and monotonous I even bore myself and don’t wish to cause anyone to poke their eyes out.

OR, there is so much drama, so many crisis that I’m so overwhelmed I don’t even know where to begin, let alone form a cohesive thought or point.

In this case, it’s the latter.  It’s been a roller coaster week. Emotionally, Financially, Spiritually. There is no part of my being that has escaped unscathed. And now, I am coming out the other side, out of breath, wild-eyed, a bit disoriented and trying to find my feet and my center.

Today, provided the rain holds out, I will spend some time in my quiet place. On the tractor, for the first time in 2 months or so. I hope to be back and whole again by next week.

Enjoy the independance this country provides,

Pollyanna

What I think about….Public School June 24, 2007

I think that public school is catering to the masses not the individual. That’s all they CAN do. If your child falls in the range of average, and you as the parent offer a modicum of participation then probably your child will do just fine. However, if your child falls above or below that average then any sort of problems are going to arise and the majority of public schools are not equipped to cater to that, either due to lack of funding, lack of teachers or lack of resources.

So much time is spent on creating little automatons that sit when they are supposed to, and talk when they are supposed to, and line up when they are supposed to and work quietly, that children’s natural personality and learning styles are often stifled. Classes are often overcrowded and it’s easy to see why it has to be that way. But just because something has to be that way does not mean it’s the best way.

The common argument against homeschooling that I hear is the lack of social interaction with other kids. To this I ask: have you spent much time in an elementary school? The two years that my son was there I did spend time there. Recess was 20 min at most, and then not every day. Before and after school, they were required to either A.Sit quietly in the gym and wait for the busses to come. or B. Stand quietly in line and wait for the carpool. At lunch, they had 20 min in which they were to stand quietly in the lunch line and gather their food and eat it as quickly and quietly as they could before lining back up again to return to class. There were precious few minutes in the day for my child to interact with any other student in a meaningful way. And then, it was only with kids of his same age/grade. In what way is this scenario like life? Who among us is held to a rigid schedule that demands when you can eat, play, talk to people only of your own age? That’s just not real life.

I say that homeschooling provides a much more realistic preparation for real life. Students are allowed to learn and allowed to love learning. They interact with people of all ages, from younger siblings to adults. They must learn responsibility in how to act appropriatly, not because they are commanded to and held by peer pressure.

Of course there are many families that don’t feel they can manage homeschooling, and can’t afford private schools. I don’t judge people for choosing public school, everyone has to make their own choices for their family. But, like every other decision, I think it’s important to do the research and make an educated choice instead of maintaining the status quo.

What I think about…..Drs. June 24, 2007

I am not one that is totally anti-dr, as many I know are.  I think that family drs/GP’s are expected to know a little bit of info about a lot of different things.  It would seem appropriate that other then something common or mild that one should consider a second opinion, or a specialist. I don’t feel it’s fair to the patient OR the dr to expect them to be the primary care person for anything that is ongoing or out of their realm of normal practice.

I think because of our litigious society, drs often operate on a CYA mode.  Even the smallest possiblity of something ‘bad’ happening needs to be covered because you know that the majority of our society will come back on the dr and say “well, you should have caught that and prevented it”. It’s unfair and it’s wrong. Dr’s are not psychics or magicians. I think that this is why so many OB’s give unecessary procedures–just on the off chance that there is a complication. They don’t want to be the one that has a mother or a baby die on their watch.

I think the problem is not the mentality of drs, but how they are forced to respond to the mentality of our society.

Often, the breastfeeding mothers I work with are given misinformation by their childs pediatrician or family dr. Pediatricians, I have little patience for. Child nutrition falls under the realm of their specialty and as such they have a responsibility to have a full working knowledge of human lactation.  However, what do you expect from a family doctor? The know what little bit they gleaned in medical school (however many years ago and outdated info to boot) and what the formula companies tell them.

If you have a problem with your transmission in your car, you aren’t going to take it to the mechanic next door unless you are very confident he knows all about transmissions. You are likely going to take it to a transmission specialist.

Breastfeeding help should be treated the same. Dr’s don’t know everything, and in fact, from what I’ve seen, the majority of them know very little about breastfeeding. You need to go to a specialist–an LC, CLC, peer counselor etc. Go to someone who’s had the training to take on your specific needs.

I always tell my moms that if something doesn’t sound right, or goes against what you think you wanted to do with your baby, do the research yourself and see what turns up. That goes for most every health matter imo.  People need to be advocates for their own health and see a dr that will acknowledge them as part of a team. No one should ever blindly follow dr’s orders without trying to gain some knowledge on their own.

Bottom line: Dr’s are not bad. They are not willingly out to get you to try X drug or product. What they do have is a limited scope. It’s up to the consumer to work with them and on their own.

Furthermore, Naturopaths and alternative medicines should be incorporated into practice with or supplementary to more western medicine. Unfortunately, big health insurance doesn’t allow for that, so why should an MD even bother to figure it out?

What I think about….Unassisted Childbirth (UC) June 24, 2007

Unassisted Childbirth is a concept that a lot of my internet circle of friends subscribe to. It is the idea that hospitals and drs treat a pregnant woman as someone who has an illness that needs to be monitored and “fixed”. That dr’s operate on preventing the worst case scenario (Which the data will tell you is actually pretty rare) and act accordingly.

VBAC is vaginal birth after cesarean. Most dr’s won’t attempt it.  The UC group believes that women are made to have children and have been doing so, alone, for centuries. That drs don’t do much more then get in the way, scare the mother, and usually cause her to undergo unecessary procedures at risk to the mother and fetus.

I honestly have mixed feelings about the subject. While I certainly see their point, for ME, I’m not comfortable taking that risk. The risk that something might happen at home and my husband, myself or other caregiver would not be equipped to handle it. Of course, one would then be transported to the hospital, but I have heard many a tale of the mother being berated by the staff for not taking better care of herself and her child.  The last thing I’d want in a moment of trauma, would be that. And the medical staff feel they have every right to say those things, because you ARE there, and THEY told you so.

Then again, I am not one that needs to have this beautiful, spiritual birth experience.  For some people that really matters. They are empowered as a woman and as a mother by the act of having a child naturally without intervention.  I say more power to them. But not for me.  I want to have the baby with as little pain as possible. (what I think about epidurals is another post)  I have had 3 very different hospital birth experiences, two with medwives, and one without.  Frankly, as far as the birth part goes (not the prenatal) the one with a dr went the smoothest and most according to birth plan.  Interesting, I thought.  I had gone into it with such fear and dread of how I would be treated but the reality was much much different.

Bottom line: Whatever works for you. I do have a little trouble with using scare tactics to try to sway the ones who choose to do a hospital birth. If that’s what you really really feel is appropriate for you, chances are you are correct and everything will be fine, so go for it.  But please don’t look down on me because the very idea does not appeal to me in the slightest. I’ll take the hospital any day. The last thing I want during my birth is to have my other kids/family around. And I certainly don’t want to be expected have to get right up and mommy them. I prefer to be confined to a bed and let everyone wait on me for a day or so. That wouldn’t happen at home, no matter the good intentions of my husband.

VBAC: I think that dr’s should be more willing to give this a try, esp for mothers who have only had one section. Multiple sections may be more complicated, I don’t really know. But scar tissue heals stronger then regular skin, much like a piece of metal that has been welded. At the weld, it’s strong. So the possiblity of uterine rupture should be relatively low. Low enough that VBAC should at least be considered and a decision made with the mother instead of having it made for her.

The Cow Says “Moo” June 23, 2007

Last evening, I had the chance to take the crew to a local “farm” and milk a cow.  Sally showed us the ropes and Nick jumped right in. He loved it–the milking, the farm, the atmosphere.  She then showed how to clean the equipment and put up the milk, which we got to bring home.

Today, I’d like to tackle making some butter if I can figure a good way to skim off the cream.

Alex was interested, from a distance. In general, it takes him a lot more time to warm up to things. He did not want to try milking, no matter how much we encouraged it.  However, today they have both asked to go back this evening to milk again, so I guess he liked it more then he let on.

They also loved seeing all the cats, chickens and worm farm.  I loved seeing them learn and enjoy themselves, but I personally was not all that enamoured.  And my allergies were stirred up. I like the idea of farm life, just the reality of all the work involved. Keith wants to goat farm someday and I said fine, but be aware that I’m not going to take care of them at all. And, also, I hate goats.  But I told him I’d process the milk into whatever and he said that was fine.

Nick loves the idea and I have faith that when/if the time comes, he’ll be in the trenches helping out. He seems to love farm life judging by his enthusiasm last night.

Just amazing June 21, 2007

Yesterday was so amazing, I don’t even know where to begin. Let me just say that it made ALL the difference to us, we SO needed that day.

I have not mentioned April here, but she is my internet bud of about 4? years. She lives in Nova Scotia, a full 27 hrs away. However, she and her husband decided to vacation in TN this year so they could attend Bonaroo, and then they swung by here on the way home.

They are so cool and fun. Our husbands didn’t know much of one another but clicked instantly. You know how rare it is to have a couple where both the husbands and the wives all click perfectly. They loved the kids, the kids loved them….

…There was even a love affair with the dog.

Yesterday, thanks to IL’s, the 4 of us hung out all day. We went to Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forgel, and the Great Smokey Mountain National Park. They were amazed by everything they saw and took gazillions of pictures. Their enthusiasm for it all made it all that more fun, as if just by living here, we had the right to show it off.

At one point, we took a scenic motor tour through the park. There are areas where you can get out and walk a ways to something back in the woods to see. There was a sign for an easy hike that would take about 30 mins total. Us girls did not have walking shoes on, but we decided we could do it. While we were in the thick forest, a thunderstorm broke out. It was the strangest sensation at first because we could hear a torrential downpour, but all the trees shaded us from it. It took a while, but eventually we were all soaked and loving it, like we were little kids. (The rain was warm, it wasn’t lightning, just booming loudly)

Unfortunately, the rain and low light, coupled with my lack of knowledge on how to overcome these when taking pictures, didn’t make for very good pictures. There still is some appeal, imo. To me, they look sort of impressionistic, which happens to be my favorite type of art.

The path got too tricky for the sandals I was wearing. It would have been fine while it was dry, but too slippery/rocky for it to be wet. Anyway, the “boys” went on ahead, and us girls went back the way we came. We got back to the car first, and by the time they got back, they were like a couple of 9yr olds back from campout. High on adrenaline from stalking a deer in the woods and seeing a turkey. Who cares if they were soaking wet! That just added to the fun! They are bonded for life now, in that macho way that males do. Out in nature, just them and the animals.

We also showed them the gem mine at Pigeon Forge, one of our particular favorite spots. April had a craving for Krispy Creme, and we came out of there with 2 dozen, which we were supposed to split. Came home and played Texas Hold em and fixed a late supper.

It was so nice to be carefree and not worry about the kids. No extra beings to keep track of, just ourselves. It hasn’t been that way in 8 years. No where to be, no worries, just living in the moment, taking in nature.

Here’s the best part: They are discussing maybe moving here in a couple years after April graduates. Seems so crazy to me, but there are a lot of bonuses besides the fact they are enamored of the Smokies. I SO hope that actually happens, but even if it doesn’t, it’s still fun to think about.

Here we are, pretending to be dried up old hillbilly prune women. That was the thought anyway.

All in all, we are all closer. April and I and the guys and I can’t speak for them, but it was a real shot in the arm for K and I as well. We really needed it. It was a true vacation. No worries, just fun and relaxation. And we didn’t even have to leave home! After they left this morning, it was such a letdown. We looked at each other and said “Well. Now what?” Back to our boring life I guess. And the Krispy Kreme’s of which I’ve had 3 today.

Now I have to skip dinner. Oh well. It was leftovers anyway.

Happily,

Pollyanna

Wow, addictive fun! June 18, 2007

Just figuring out this WordPress stuff. It’s so fun to learn to do new things and have them work out. Yay, me!

Aptly Titled Blog June 15, 2007

sweet | salty

What strength, what clarity, what poetry this wonderful mama portrays in this tribute. I have been hanging on with her and her babies for several weeks now, as have many many others.

This post blows me away.

What Reality TV do you watch? June 15, 2007

I’m addicted to reality shows. They make up the bulk of my tv viewing time with very few exceptions. I don’t watch them all however. I stopped watching any sort of dating show after “The Bacholorette”, and we only watched that because DH had the hots for Trista. (Are they even still together?)

This is the first season we’ve watched “So You Think You Can Dance.” We are actually enjoying it. We don’t watch that celebrity dancing show…what is that one again? That is just cheesy. Celebs on a game show trying to win money “for charity” smacks of self-serving to me. Trying to haul their D-List butts up to some higher career level. The only charity they are serving is their own! Take a lesson from Ms. Griffin, D-listers. She’s promoting herself honestly and is making progress. If you are a former A/B lister, and you’ve lost ground because you have gotten lazy, gotten drunk, gotten high, gotten so high-and-mighty no one wants to work with you, then you made a mistake. You have to work your way back up the ranks just like all actors do starting out. Beg an agent to get you a decent gig and then work your butt off for recognition to go with it. Celebrity Fit Club is not a way to jumpstart your career.

We are happy to see the D-list return, as well as Last Comic Standing. (More on that one in a different post!) We are enjoying The Pirate Master. I actually thought that one was going to be really cheesy, but it’s quite interesting the way they have it set up. Being a former hairdresser, I really liked “Shear Genius” although DH wasn’t into it. Yay, DVR!! I think I heard Project Runway will come back but not for a while. We are longtime fans of both the Amazing Race and Survivor. I guess the theme for our reality show preferences is shows that reward average people for having a special talent (singing, dancing, designing, hairdressing) or for average people who are good at strategic game play (AR, Survivor and the PM). As far as celeb-reality, it’s random. We never miss D-list, because Kathy Griffin is hilarious. We watch Girls Next Door now and then. Not sure why on that one! We watch Hogan Knows Best now and then as well, and we really dig the way that the Hogans stay down to earth and raise their kids right, even making them wait tables at a local restaurant when they need extra money. Oh, and speaking of family reality–I LOVE Little People, Big World as does my boys. That family is awesome and I love the way the Roeloff’s parenting is much like mine. Plus, I’m getting tips for when my boys become teenagers. I also love that they don’t temper their Christianity just for TV. They pray on tv, they send their kids to Christian school. They are involved, loving, attentive parents. Good models for other parents.

Oh, you know what show was great? Joe Schmo by SpikeTV a few years back. That was hilarious and they totally picked the right guy to star in it. He handled it very well in the end. I hope he got a bunch of dates when he was done with that show.

It’s 2:30 and that means it’s time for me to take my siesta. This post is weird and rambling I know. Sorry bout that.

Yes, it’s another entry June 14, 2007

This is what happens when dh and I actually get together and hang out.

This is the difference between my sons. Nicholas, who is 8 has a special way with animals. He’s always loved them and has a nice quiet demeanor which means shy animals trust him pretty easily.

Now, there’s Alex.  Alex is loud, and rowdy. Animals run from him. As well they should apparantly. DH says that Alex saw a hawk flying low the other day and said to him “Are you going to shoot that dad?”

For the record, we don’t know ANYONE who hunts or shoots animals.  My dh has been known to shoot near an animal to scare it away (like a raccoon or something) but that’s only happened like twice, ever.

Recently, DH and I were walking through a nearby field and a wild turkey spooked and scared the heck out of me. Ever since we told the kids about the story, “hey, isn’t it cool we live that close to wildlife now?” Alex has been obsessing about hunting it.

Nature vs nurture indeed!